Our Story

Happy Valentine’s Day! I thought I would share a little love on one of my favorite days.

Hubby and I met at work (as I find most couples do) I was a hostess and he worked the ToGo counter at Chili’s. Our posts were both located at the front of the restaurant and we were working the same shift for the first time. I was finishing my senior year of high school and he had just moved back from San Diego. It was a particularly slow morning and our breaks were scheduled for the same time. Out of boredom and with nowhere else to go I wandered over to the Starbucks across from Chili’s. I hate coffee, just the smell can make me gag, but it was the place to hang out. I grabbed a non-coffee beverage and sat down in a chair to wait out the next fifteen minutes. My hubby walked in just as I was sitting down. I noticed him, watched him wait in line and hoped he would come join me. He did and so did a very chatty coworker. We laughed and smiled at each other but never had the chance to speak. When we got back to work, hubby passed a note via another coworker. It was a small drawling of a chili. This continued for the next two hours. A small piece of paper passed with a picture or note (I still have them all!). We went back and forth and I found myself really liking him. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I didn’t want to leave work. On his last note was written his phone number. My heart was racing, my stomach turning, I REALLY liked this guy and I couldn’t wait to see him again.

I left work, went home, met up with some friends and went on and on about this hot guy from work. They told me to call him and see if he wanted to hang out. I did and we went on our first date that night (we both ditched our friends). We didn’t spend a day apart, until I left for Hawaii (my class trip) a month later. My Hubby drove me to the airport the morning I left and at the gate while sending me off whispered, “I love you” for the first time. I wanted to cry and I didn’t want to leave! I was in love and couldn’t stand the thought of being apart.

Seven months later we moved in together. Got our first dog, Abby. Then our second dog, Penny and were inseparable. I had never experienced anything like the relationship we had. He was my best friend and so much more. I was happy for what felt like the first time in my life. Two years later and two apartments later, we were sitting in our office talking and out of nowhere he got down on one knee and proposed! I said yes, we laughed I cried and then one week later he proposed again at my work with a stunning solitary diamond on a white gold band.  I said yes again, cried again and fell in love all over again.

The absolute BEST day of my life was our wedding day! I had planned everything myself and it was perfect, down to the last rose petal. I know for sure the happiness I felt that day will never be replicated and I don’t want it to. That’s what makes it so special, knowing that deep down in my heart the day I chose to tie my life to his was the most spectacular day of my life. No matter the fact that I was given a Vicodin that morning, which I am allergic to, and my sister-in-law had to pull over so I could throw-up on the way to the wedding. Or that someone wouldn’t let my Aunt come see me before the wedding, even though she was trying to bring me my Grandmother’s ring. Or that my little sister walked down the aisle a good five minutes before all the other bridesmaids and my poor hubby had thought I was running. Or any number of little things that I didn’t care about. In the end I was kissing my husband for the first time, toasting our marriage, dancing in his arms and announcing to the world that I was so in love with this amazing man and he picked me.  

Book One

I would like you to meet Aurora! This is the introduction or possible query letter for book one:

I am a preternatural being, I am outside of nature, so far from light and life, that I will be hunted            and haunted for all eternity. Yet I came into this world as any human being is born.

The year was 1797; it was a cold winter night as rain pelted against the windows of Amelia Vasser’s bedroom window. Sweat coated her human body, leaving her cold and shivering. Her screams echoed through the small chateau in France. With a final push, I was born, pale and small. My eyes opened to reveal a remarkable emerald green. Only moments old, I smiled at my mother to expose a mouthful of sparkling white teeth, fangs hung over my little red lips begging for blood. Amelia only had a few seconds to cuddle me to her chest before my Father took me away and the next baby came and then another.

I had officially been born into the Carpathian race, to the Vasser coven under the time of the Phoenix. This was a time when vampires began to mutate into something more, something so limitless that no one dared acknowledge that we existed. We were not the only breed of vampires, the Balkans were very present at this time. Born on opposite sides of the mountain, we were enemies from the start. The Carpathians revered natural life, choosing to feed from animals and live in peace with the human race.  However, the Balkans were believed to be the dominate species and saw humans as nothing more than food. For as long as legend goes back the two vampire colonies have been at war. The Balkans, the stronger breed for drinking human blood had created a shield within them. It allowed them to feed less and a film of poison to protect them from attack. For centuries they dominated, killing the Carpathians in mass, annihilating entire covens without thought.

That is until I was born, I am Aurora Vasser the immortal, mortal child. Along with my siblings a new age would come, one where the Carpathians were destined to rule… 

Please feel free to comment! I know it needs a lot of work.

Fantasy

I love the definition of the word fantasy. It sums up in the most scrumptious way exactly what I love about this genre:

fantasy-imagination, especially when extravagant and unrestrained, the forming of mental images, especially wondrous or strange fancies; imaginative conceptualization. 

That is amazing! If I could live my life with unrestrained extravagance, life would be good. Since that isn’t going to happen anytime soon I choose to write it, read it and watch it any free moment I get. 

We all participate in the world of fantasy. Take a moment while sitting at your computer and picture this: your feet digging into the sand, each small grain slipping between your toes as you curl them deeper and deeper, your back rests against the fibers of your recently damp towel as your head lulls to the side. You see him emerge from the water and watch with a moment of lust as the water drips from his body soaking the sand with his every step. You let your body heat from the sun, building its warmth… until you ignite. You move toward the water watching the waves tumble to shore, longing for its cool release. You slowly enter and let the ocean cradle you in its waiting embrace. Your mind slips, you see the computer, hear a coworkers voice and you’re back. Reality…hits hard.  You do this at any time, any place. Magically transport yourself to somewhere that sets you free. We fantasize and daydream constantly and who can blame us with our daily grind weighing us down. The world of fantasy has given us an escape, it has allowed us to die and come back to life, to morph into an animal, to weald magic, to become a hero or princess, and if you choose become the villain. It has created a world that needs no rules or restrictions. Whatever your mind is capable of is true.

There are currently so many books, movies and TV shows that I can’t begin to name them all. My most recent favorite is ABC’s Once Upon A Time. I love what they have done with my childhood favorites. They are giving new life to old stories and making them real. The way that they have placed fairy tales into our world is so much fun to watch. My favorite part of fantasy is, believing that it can happen and not only happen but also live among us. That on any given day we can discover this magic and be let in on it’s incredible secret. I find daily that I transport myself somewhere amazing, if not just into the future. To the birth of our second child, or Henry’s first day of Kindergarten, to growing old with my husband. I have a hard time staying in the present, (a current problem with my hubby who wants me to live in the now and stop worrying about the future) I always want to know what is going to happen. My solution to staying grounded in my day-to-day life is by coming here and writing all my fantasies. Giving myself the opportunity to conceptualize my metal images and create something breathe taking, to start my own world and race, to make life what I want it to be.  

Just finished The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins, as well as the Witch and Wizard series by James Patternson, both are amazing! 

Potty Training

I’m leaving Aurora and writing behind for this entry. My first priority in life is my son, Henry. He is how I start my day and usually how I end my day with all the worries of the next day on my mind before I drift off into (cross your fingers) a miraculous full nights sleep. I’m going to broach our latest Henry milestone, the very scary potty training months. I was completely against potty training Henry before two and was hoping to push it even further than that. For one reason, I was sure it was going to be HELL! For another, he is my baby and although changing a diaper several times a day sucks I was certain this was another stage ending his babyhood.

My husband insisted we try. He believed Henry was ready. I wasn’t on board! He finally tricked me into it by telling me we couldn’t have another baby until Henry was potty trained. Well that perked me right up and as I always tend to do with Henry, I threw myself in full force and never looked back. I started with the seat that fits on the big potty but that wasn’t steady enough and my first attempt to put Henry on the potty ended with him screaming and throwing himself from the potty into my arms. Lets just say that day did not continue well and I put his training on pause until I was able to get him a portable potty that night. I got the potty, bought an Elmo book on potty training and tried everything to make this new potty look like the most awesome adventure he was going to have. He liked it! I was happy, he was happy, so now all I needed to do was teach him how to use it.

On a side note, I am a nanny and work about forty minutes away from my home. I take Henry with me so I am still with him 24/7. Mornings in my house are the hardest! There are so many things that I have to do to get out the door and I’m sure if I woke up just a little bit earlier it wouldn’t be a problem, but that is never going to happen. So I have to pack my “bags” every night and then load them up in the morning. I have the grocery bag (containing all our food for the day or week) the toy bag (holding any number of things but mostly the twenty-five figurines he can’t live without) and lastly the diaper bag (two sets of clothes, pull-ups, any medicine, diaper cream, sunblock, my wallet and nook). I load all those and Henry into the car. This is after we wake him up, get him to go potty, give him his milk and pray he doesn’t cry when we take away the binkie. On top of all that I added a potable potty to the list of things I needed to get in the car every morning. On this particular day everything was in, Henry was holding his lovey (known as brown dog or doggie) and we were off to work. It wasn’t until I got there an hour later and five minutes late that while unloading all that crap I noticed I forgot the potty! I had a small panic attack and decided to just deal with it. I refused to put him in diapers for the day so I was just going to have to make the big potty work. First potty attempt he cried for his “lil” potty and then went on the big one. Second time he didn’t make it. He stood right in the middle of the rug and peed. I tried to get him to stop and make it to the big one and that only resulted in a trail of pee through the house. The little girl I watch decided to crawl through the trail in an attempt to follow us. I got them both clean, came back and tried to clean the massive mess. During all this I stayed calm remembered it was only the first week and went about my day. It wasn’t until I sat down to play with the kids that I noticed I hadn’t cleaned the rug. I spent the rest of the day with a huge, wet pee stain on my butt.  

As you might imagine it took several mornings of “naked time” and lots of drama to get things right. Henry loved “naked time” and was over the moon to run around the house all morning with no diaper and no pants. Henry would go pee no problem! It was the pooping that became an issue. He’s a pretty regular guy and I always knew when he had to go. It was now a matter of getting him to the potty in time. This resulted in many piles of poop on the floor. It was not pretty. I was certain it would never happen and then a week of some intense training, Henry was going no problem!!! A month later we were accident free and I felt and still do like the luckiest Mom in the world to have such a smart little man.  

Current status: still no accidents and have escalated training to getting clothes off and on the potty by himself. My patience is seriously being tested but every time he does it all by himself he gets the sweetest smile and the last fifteen minutes don’t seem so wasted. 

I Heart Writing

The thing that I love most about writing is the ability to create something that would have never existed if not for the fact that I thought it up and put it down on paper. Aurora was only a reality in my mind and then in the people that I have allowed to read it and further more now apart of those who are reading this blog. It’s amazing to me, because I love writing her and hope that one day everyone will get to know her.

What surprises me the most is how easy I find it to sit down and just write. Sometimes I have an idea but mostly I start typing and my every thought spills out. There is nothing better than creating a character. Starting with how they look to who they are and the way I can have them accomplish anything with the tap of a key. I also have to admit that there is nothing more satisfying than creating someone you can hate or dragging a relationship out for as long as you like, continually taunting the reader with the first kiss and then destroying the relationship completely. It may sound mean but no one wants to read a happy ending in twenty pages, it’s the struggle of getting a character (that someone has come to love) to their final destination. Imagining their pain and frustration and then rooting for them to succeed. Every time a character gets knocked down you want the reader to fight for them. This is what I hope to create, the relationship that I feel every time I fall in love with a book. It is the build up that keeps you intrigued and I love to do it.

What I hate is editing. You may have notice I am not one to reread or catch my mistakes. I often have misspellings and other grammatical errors but I am so bored with the idea of editing that I can’t bring myself to care. Between my sister-in-law and myself, we have edited my book three different times (pure torture)! I still don’t think it’s ready to be read or to even look into getting published. But I love the fact that every time I read it I am still happy with every character, plot line and ultimately the ending and favorite part. It is my favorite part mostly because it leads to the second book.

I have written the second book but only in my head, besides a few notes. The reason? I have forbid myself to write it until I decide what to do with the first book. I’m certain I will write it one day, but for now I am content with the idea of continuing my favorite characters and creating some new ones all in my mind.

   

Aurora

Aurora and I, is probably the best description of myself I could ever give. We are one and the same and yet could not be further from each other. I always knew that writing this book was going to become a way for me to move on from the miscarriage. I didn’t realize that I would put so much of myself into Aurora, or by doing that it would become a therapy for me to get any pain I had ever experienced out, to maybe explain myself through her. It wasn’t until my sister read the book and said “So, you’re Aurora.” that I started to wonder. She further asked who the other characters were and who she was and I couldn’t answer. I hadn’t notice that I was writing myself let alone other people in my life. As I thought about what she said, I went back and started to read over some of my first chapters. I began to slowly recognize bits and pieces of everyone I knew coming out on the pages. No one character was a single person; but the person’s habits, mannerisms or annoyances all became a part of the book. In a way it’s amazing to think that everyone I love is in the book and one day it might even be interesting for them to guess who they are, because I will never tell.

I started to notice myself in Aurora through the simplest things-my eye color, how I have motion sickness, the miscarriage, things I love, things I hate. However I still felt she was her own in many way, it was just getting harder for me to see where I ended and Aurora began. If the pain and problems Aurora was having were really hers or my way of working through things I didn’t even know about. Aurora’s many family issues caused me pause, although I created her and gave her these problems it scared the crap out of me to think I might have them. So for now I will live in ignorant bliss and believe that they are all hers.

I began to really dig myself out from under Aurora, I didn’t want to be her, I didn’t want to think I was really that troubled. Then I finally found our one profound difference, Aurora’s love life (and the tiny fact that she is a vampire and although I have translucent skin and on occasion want to bite someone who pisses me off, I am not). She can never decide what she wants or who she wants or if she is even capable of love. Aurora’s trust issues keep her from believing in the most important person- herself. If you can’t trust how you feel and what you know then how can you be proficient enough to trust someone else. I can trust and do trust to my own detriment but the one thing I did right was to trust the man I love. We found each other young and have never second-guessed the choice to be together. Our love has brought us through some pretty hard times but we made it and are stronger for it. I am simply obsessed with my man and although some find our interest in each other annoying (how often we talk, text and spend all our extra time together) I am delighted in our constant attentiveness. It’s been eight years and I love him as much as that first sunny day in a Starbucks coffee house.

I am not a patient person...

You might think that I had been writing for a while before I dove into starting a book or that maybe I even liked writing or was at the very least good at it. If you did, you would be wrong. I started college and stopped just as fast. I have never pursued anything but my husband and the life we have created together. I do not like being challenged or doing things that I have no interest in and I am not in the least bit competitive in any aspect of my life. I am just me, and that is boring as hell.

So instead of changing who I am and maybe being a little adventurous, such as trying any number of things that people have suggested over the years. I decided to take one person's advice and write a book. You may also think that it progressed slowly and I might have thought about it for a while since I am prone to ignoring most helpful ideas. However, I didn’t wait a second. I ended the phone call, picked up a pen and never looked back. As if the words were already inside me, just waiting to get out, I couldn’t seem to write fast enough. In a matter of minutes I had several characters, plot lines, events and then the whole book outlined. I couldn’t wait to start writing the actual book, so I didn’t. I sat at our computer and just started writing. Words, dialog, and descriptions came at me so fast I started carrying a pad and pen with me wherever I went. I would pull over and write notes, start watching TV and suddenly have the best idea, end a conversation or task just to get something down. It was madness and it went on for months.

I’m not sure my husband meant it as a challenge, but he told me I wouldn’t get past the fifth chapter. (I have to interject that he was further very supportive and went out and bought me a laptop that very week.) I felt instantly that I had to do it, not only write those five chapters but finish the book. And I did. Only it took me longer than I had originally planned. Mostly because once I get something in my head I can’t let it go and I am the most impatient person. I have to do it now, get it now, and go there NOW! (My husband loves this about me) So there were two things that I wanted and I never realized that one might derail the other or at the least make it a little harder to achieve them both.

The first thing I wanted, a baby. It had been three months since my miscarriage and we wanted to try again. Some thought it was too soon but it didn’t matter because we felt ready. Well, a month later I was pregnant. This time I kept my mouth shut and waited. Twelve weeks later it was Easter and we made our big announcement. Those three months were hell! I never thought it would affect my writing but just looking at the screen made me want to puke. So it became a hobby instead of an actual book and that was okay. I was living high with my pregnancy and enjoying the last few months of time with just my husband. The second thing I wanted, to finish the book. I never stopped thinking about it and before I knew it I was feeling better and writing. To only get derailed once again! As fate would have it I delivered my son on the same day that I lost our first baby. I prayed that whole weekend that I wouldn’t go into labor. I was six days away from my due date so I never really imagined that it would happen. One year later on the exact same day that God took our little girl we got to hold our baby boy. I still think about her daily and don’t believe there will be a day that I don’t. But the truth is, if I had had her then we wouldn’t have our son and I can’t begin to imagine that.

The little man was perfect and still is! He continues to put a cramp in my writing time but he will always come first. I will only have this time with him once. Too soon he will hate spending to with his Mom and do whatever he can to be with his friends. For now I am enjoying being the center if his small world and knowing that I will always find time to write. 

Sometimes I feel more me sitting in front of a computer than doing anything else. Maybe because it is only me, and there is a freedom in being who you are and doing what you love. However I will never be a Writer, I will always be a Mom and a Wife in my eyes. My world only exists with my family in it. My son is my heart and soul and there will never be another Henry.